Following the Spider’s Web #Do MagickĀ 

Andrieh Vitimus has brought Magical30 back to life in the form of Do Magick, I always had the notion to participate, but never really had the drive. But this could not have come at a more appropriate time.

The challenge states:

This challenge is a challenge of self-transformation of a serious personal issue

Serious personal issue, huh? It’s not like this last year hasn’t brought me far more than my fair share.

I have been feeling like a walking bag of trauma recently; self-esteem has never been lower, you might as well print “doormat” on my forehead to save time, all I am motivated to do is tune out and watch vapid YouTube videos. The bad habits are rippling out to overeating, overspending, and under sleeping. 

When you ping a single thread on a spider’s web, the rest start to sing as well. All of these issues cause further harm to me, but are all a response to an original injury.

So the first part of my research goes: which personal issues will make the biggest impact, and biggest improvement, to my life? 

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Cycles, Snakes, and Garfield Self-Transformation 02/2017 Research

I could create an *amazing* set of rites for this challenge, which would almost guarantee self-transformation. Seriously, it would be great!

Start off with an hour of meditation in the morning, go onto two hours of purification, then maybe some inner heat practice, or some body/energy practice, maybe mantra work and some journaling, pop off for a bit of therapy, and cap off with a bit of sweetening work.

If I did that every day, for 30 days, you probably wouldn’t recognise me by the end of the challenge!

But… but…

This is such a brilliant, but utterly flawed plan that it almost hurts.

The biggest thing that falls down with some of my most amazing ideas and plans is that I fail to incorporate the *actual* reality of my life, and the reality of my personality.

Even taking out working a 9-5 job, at the moment I find it difficult to meditate for 15 minutes – let alone an hour! This plan would last for about 5 minutes, I would get discouraged and give up. This would, inadvertently, feed into the idea that I am useless and I can never change and nothing I do is ever right.

I would end up right back where I am, until the next time the dissatisfaction of sitting in my own skin, with my own bad habits, gets too much and I decide for another bout of radical change.

The cycle would begin once more.

So, when formulating a series of rites, I need to consider a series of factors:

  • My nature
  • My environment 
  • My support network
  • My routine

Each of these are not isolated factors. Environment will influence nature, which in turn will influence environment.

So when looking into this challenge of self-transformation:

  • I have to look in the mirror at my nature: look at what drives me forward, where do I stumble, look at what influences me in my decision making, look at my excuses, how do I perceive myself and what person do I hope to be.
  • I have to conduct an assessment on my environment and the other external factor:, is it conducive to change, are there peaks and troughs of activity during the day? Am I in an environment that is calm and I can focus on my work or is my focus on other issues? Will my peer group support the changes I make, or will there be big push back with that? 

So even before I open a book, or start researching techniques, the knowledge of the position that I am in will be invaluable for actual change.

This knowledge will be the difference between me sailing through the thirty days and transforming my life

Or sitting in front of YouTube binge watching mukbangs, feeling horribly guilty for not actually doing any work.